Open

yesl

Untouched, unexplored, unsure of what to look for you took control,

 Embrace me with your masculine hands, so strong yet gentle,

 I am falling in love with you,

Deep emotion, sensitivity, warm sensations, passion and ecstasy,

 I crave your touch

 My heart throbs when you kiss me

 My legs tremble at the touch of your tongue to kiss my breasts

I lose my breath when you look me in my eyes

 I feel safe in your arms, I’m impressed by the things you do, you are my inspiration

 Sending vibrations, amazing zigzags traveling up and down my spine as you explore my ebony body

 I am lifted into a cloud of silence as you begin to enter my gate

 

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Sometimes

You Know…

Sometimes I battle with the thoughts of why? What does it all mean? I know we are not to question God. Yet instead take on the challenge and suit up for War… Ok got it. I’m a gentle being created in his image… But let me tell you, I am searching for that beauty. In the mist of it all, Constant reminders of “he will never put more on me than I can bear”. But this right here is heavy. I am not built for this. Yet I’m so built for this. It’s amazing how you can find your strength in the weakest moment.  I must confess this right here is not easy… I barely look deep into my own eyes because it’s my soul that is broken.  I just smile and put on a daily mask. Please don’t get it confused with me being fake in any way. But how do you let your guard down when you are scared of being hurt? Friends are not who they say they are, And family will do us in every time… Yes I know… put your trust not in man, but in the Father… I deeply understand, what happens when the one you love let’s u down? How do you get pass the feeling? Building a wall letting my guard down to those I feel are deserving in fear of showing my true reflection? Lord I am already broken and I can’t afford to be shattered. I’m so full yet so empty. So confused by my day to day… Yet I’m so focused on the future. Help me pick up my crown and walk Lord. I’m so Team us…I forget about me… I matter to right?

 

Summer Rain…

1:29am..

Hot sticky love I crave your humid touch…
Caress me with your Cool Breeze …
My knees buckle at the sound of your thunder …
Your lightning peacefully heals my soul…
Purify Me with every warm tear drop ..
My misty blue overflow my garden with your wisdom..

Nurture me with your knowledge…
Speak to my heart…
I love the way you feel on my skin..
My summer rain..

Restore Me

Lord I’m full. I just had enough, please take away my pain. I humbly ask that you forgive me. I truly need you. Sometimes, well lately Lord I have been broken in every way. You are all knowing and in this I know I will find my strength. I just ask for the Holy Spirit to guide me. Lord you say a righteous man’s footsteps are ordered. Lord I know that I am unworthy. Thank you Jesus for having me in mind. Heal me, help me, take down the Walls, and tend to the scars that have broken it over the years. The difference between being broken is that you can be fixed. Lord I Thank you that you have not allowed Satan to devour and Shatter Me. Every day is a struggle within. I am tried in every way personally, financially most importantly spiritually with you. I am so lost without you, I never want my living to be in vain. I just don’t know how to deal. Restore me, help me find my reason. Give me my purpose allow me not to be in my own understanding. Lord help me not to judge others or be so quick to just say no, when you are the one who always says YES!

 

 

Dial tone

 

Damn the phone is ringing, the last time I spoke to him we were not on Good Terms. This passive aggressive s*** is for the birds.I love him with everything in me, but I’ll be damned if I continue to be his punching bag. Oh  s*** it’s on its third ring. Do I answer? or do I send his negative ass voice mail ? I’ve cried My Last Tear, I’ve done all I can do. I’ve been supportive in every way. They say sometimes letting go is easier than holding on. The 5th  ring and voicemail, question is will he call back? Will I answer? Do I just forget about what was said and move past it? Or do I express how I feel and hope like hell we don’t argue? I have tell the person I love I cannot live without him, to let him know that he inspires me to be a better woman. Tell him that it’s okay this too shall pass. How do you mend a broken heart? What do you tell a person when you have said it all? Not wanting to become a broken record you are just left in silence. Please don’t get it confused with me not being supportive, but what do I say s*** I’m empty too!  Encourage? I need encouragement! Bill’s, family ,friends ,work, school, kids.. Sometimes I just want to scream.. I am being the strongest person that I know how to be. but I have my faults too. I just want to wrap up in his arms and forget about yesterday and not have to worry about tomorrow..

 

 

The beginning starts now

Not sure on how to start I begin by saying yes. Yes to all fears, yes to understanding, and yes to you. I never can find the words, but you know my heart. I am unsure on how I feel, however you know my destiny. I am yours, I see only you in the end I look for you throughout my day, and the first sign of you is when I open my eyes. How faithful you are. I have been wrong in so many ways. Like a puppy with her tail tucked in, you still love me. Crystal clear when you see my sins. When I ask for forgiveness you restore me. I have been ashamed lately and you have sent an Angel to remind me that you welcome me just as I am. How grateful. I pray and hope that I can reconnect with you like never before, my soul cries out praise him. With my whole heart I ask that you find me guilty of anything that has caused me to stray. I humbly need you in my life as I allow the holy spirit to guide my paths, I asked that my heart listens. I need you Lord. I don’t want a relationship based on fear of dying in the flesh however, I want to rest assure that I know you are king of kings, first and last, beginning and end. You are my father alone and if I truly allow you to do what you do, I will walk into what you already have prepared. You are my joy Lord. Give me you as you always do and I promise more to do more than I have. Struggling to Crystal Clear is not easy, help me with my purpose.

 

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