Sheltered

It’s been a minute since I picked up the pen. I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. Life has truly happen, from fairy tales,to true nightmares. I’ve seen it all in these last couple of months. How do you ease the pain of a grieving Beast? You leave her alone allow her to do well in her kingdom . My sunsets are no longer beautiful, but it is the opportunity to the let out my rage. The break of dawn and the eagerness for my cup of coffee in the morning has sail into a pillow toss and a loud moan of reality. Processing through the process is not an easy task and today I’m not in the mood for your fuckin opinions. So with all due respect fall the fuck back. Shit I like dancing with the dinosaurs.

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Move…

I want to run in the same direction of the wind. Please don’t stop me, so what if I don’t know my beginning from my end. Where I end up is between me and God. I want to travel to places unknown. To capture my memory overloadinhg this camera with stolen moments. I want to smell the lemons in the middle of June watching the dogs play with butterflies bring a pure smile to my face. Blocking the Sun from my eyes as I try to hide this pain disguised by my shaded glasses…

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Every time I get close you pull me back in…

Every time I let go you stop me from saying no…

 Why when you are so cold…

Liar, deceitful, Heart full of tainted gold…

Stories untold do I really want to take this vow…

 How can I trust you when you still Living foul…

Swallow my pride and let this shit ride out…

Can’t push forward damn I have too much doubt…

I want out but I’m selfish so I stay in…

 I think I lied when I said I wanted a fresh start…

 The pain never stops it only begins…

 So this is my finally call before I give in…

Broken pieces I thought it was as I look closer it’s shattered…

Seems like I need my boxing gloves, just to see if I matter…

 Loving you is dangerous game straight gamble of the heart…

Constant stains Silent Cries Echo throughout these cold walls….

 Grey and gloomy sticky clouds just fuck it all…

My sheets are heavy with regrets blank stares into the dark Skies…

Misty blue Breeze misses me and I’m fighting alone… 

 

Open

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Untouched, unexplored, unsure of what to look for you took control,

 Embrace me with your masculine hands, so strong yet gentle,

 I am falling in love with you,

Deep emotion, sensitivity, warm sensations, passion and ecstasy,

 I crave your touch

 My heart throbs when you kiss me

 My legs tremble at the touch of your tongue to kiss my breasts

I lose my breath when you look me in my eyes

 I feel safe in your arms, I’m impressed by the things you do, you are my inspiration

 Sending vibrations, amazing zigzags traveling up and down my spine as you explore my ebony body

 I am lifted into a cloud of silence as you begin to enter my gate

 

The beginning starts now

Not sure on how to start I begin by saying yes. Yes to all fears, yes to understanding, and yes to you. I never can find the words, but you know my heart. I am unsure on how I feel, however you know my destiny. I am yours, I see only you in the end I look for you throughout my day, and the first sign of you is when I open my eyes. How faithful you are. I have been wrong in so many ways. Like a puppy with her tail tucked in, you still love me. Crystal clear when you see my sins. When I ask for forgiveness you restore me. I have been ashamed lately and you have sent an Angel to remind me that you welcome me just as I am. How grateful. I pray and hope that I can reconnect with you like never before, my soul cries out praise him. With my whole heart I ask that you find me guilty of anything that has caused me to stray. I humbly need you in my life as I allow the holy spirit to guide my paths, I asked that my heart listens. I need you Lord. I don’t want a relationship based on fear of dying in the flesh however, I want to rest assure that I know you are king of kings, first and last, beginning and end. You are my father alone and if I truly allow you to do what you do, I will walk into what you already have prepared. You are my joy Lord. Give me you as you always do and I promise more to do more than I have. Struggling to Crystal Clear is not easy, help me with my purpose.

 

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